Conflict With Your Ex
Your Story What’s the story you tell yourself about your ex? About how the relationship ended? About the part you played? Are you a victim in this story? Is your ex the perpetrator? What horrible things have they done and/or said to you? How often have you told this story to someone else? How often…
I Live In A Remote Location. How Can I Participate In Mediation?
Some positive things have come out of COVID19. Mediators have learned that mediation can be conducted over videoconference and by telephone. Some mediators use mediator-assisted negotiation via email. The process might take a little longer, and you might not be able to see the mediator and/or the other party face-to-face, but it is possible. So,…
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Can I Bring A Support Person To Mediation?
Mediation can feel scary or overwhelming, especially if you’ve never participated before. Some people worry that they will not be able to think properly and might make a decision they will later regret. Having a support person with you during mediation who can provide moral support might be helpful. How To Choose A Support Person?…
Are Agreements Made During Mediation Legally Binding?
What Is Mediation (A Quick Refresher) Mediation can help people solve their disputes without the need for a judge or tribunal to make a decision. In mediation, an impartial (meaning, they won’t take sides) and nonjudgemental mediator will help people discuss issues on which they disagree. Mediation can be used in many situations. For example, it…
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Should We Wait to Agree on Splitting our Assets?
After separation, some people want to focus on parenting arrangements first and deal with property later. There are some possible reasons for this:1. dealing with numbers is boring or intimidating to many people, and it can be very complex if businesses or trusts are involved2. there can be a lot of information that you need…
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A New Relationship?
If you’ve already been through a failed relationship then you probably don’t want a repeat performance. If you’re considering getting into another relationship you should know that emotional intelligence is critical to relationship success. Gottman Institute research in 1999 showed that 65% of men do not have a high level of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and…
Strategies for reducing conflict – part 3
If you’ve gotten through my previous posts and have mastered ‘beginner’ and ‘intermediate’ strategies to reduce conflict with the other parent, you might be ready for some more advanced strategies. Eliminate the Scarcity Mindset Stop keeping track of your time with the children. A scarcity mindset can lead you to keep frustration, a deep sense…
Can One Person Change the Dynamics of A Relationship?
Yes you can! When things aren’t going smoothly in a relationship many of us have a tendency to blame the other for all the difficulties. OK, we might take a wee bit of the blame ourselves, but some people tend to lay the majority of blame for the bad stuff on the other. This is…
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Strategies for reducing conflict with the other parent – Part 2
In this post I share some more advanced strategies to help reduce conflict with the other parent. Let’s recap the last post: Learn how to control your emotions better when you interact with the other parent. Understand the signs that you’re about to ‘flip your lid’ and be prepared to make a quick exit.Reduce /…
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How to start reducing conflict with the other parent
This blog post explores some basic strategies you can employ to reduce conflict with the other parent. The Gottman Institute has been studying relationships for decades. This statistic comes from studies done on couples who are in an intimate relationship. So, I reckon the statistic would probably be very close to 100% for interactions between…
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Why I Choose to Work With People in Conflict
Many people have asked me why I choose to work with parents who are in conflict with each other. Why do I choose to sit and listen to them argue, say nasty things to each other, accuse each other of being a bad parent (whilst implying that they are a perfect parent themselves), and dig…
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Seeing Things for What They Are : Owning Your Contribution to Conflict With The Other Parent
It can be really hard (OK, excruciating) to think of transforming the relationship between yourself and the other parent. After all, you didn’t separate because you love, or even like, each other. There is likely a lot of unresolved s#!t between you. You might feel resentment and anger toward the other. It might feel good…
Avoiding Disastrous Post-Separation Relationships
Post separation parenting advice urges us to build a “business relationship” with the “other” parent. You know, the person with whom you were once intimate, with whom you had a child (possibly several), and who you might currently despise, or at least really, really dislike. I remember attending a post-separation parenting course sometime in 2013.…
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Authentic Relationships
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about authenticity and how the concept relates to relationships. Everywhere I turn I see people using the word “authentic”. I follow George Kao on FB because his messages about being authentic in business resonate strongly with me. I also follow his FB account, Soul Gym (check it out), where…
I wish my partner would stop _______ !!!!
In the beginning, it’s good. You’re in love, you’ve found the perfect partner. You can overlook those little imperfections because, on balance, all of the good outweighs the bad by miles. Maybe you don’t even notice those little imperfections. You both try hard to be the other’s ‘one’, to delight the other, and life is…
The Journey Begins
Thanks for joining me! Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton Welcome to my blog about all things relationships. A relationship can be fullfilling and life-affirming! And they can be exasperating and soul-destroying. This applies whether you are talking about your relationship with a sibling, parent, child, friend or…
WordPress Resources at SiteGround
WordPress is an award-winning web software, used by millions of webmasters worldwide for building their website or blog. SiteGround is proud to host this particular WordPress installation and provide users with multiple resources to facilitate the management of their WP websites: Expert WordPress Hosting SiteGround provides superior WordPress hosting focused on speed, security and customer…